"Power is given, not grabbed."

Power and influence are prominent in our daily lives — at work, at home, and even among friends.

For me, The Power Paradox by Dacher Keltner is one of the best books I've read on leadership. Keltner's research backs up something I've felt but rarely seen articulated so clearly: True power isn't about title, force, or volume. It's a dynamic, social force — given by others, based on how much the leader serves the common good.

The paradox?

Power is gained through empathy, generosity, and social intelligence. But because power itself can make us more self-centered, impulsive, or disconnected from others — true influence can be lost just as quickly.

Interestingly, people seem to have a natural ability to shape a leader's reputation in social structures. In many companies and communities, leaders rise by helping others — but when they start acting in self-interest, the same group that lifted them up begins to turn. Trust erodes. Resistance grows. Badmouthing and gossip start.

So what sustains real leadership? Service instead of dominance. Connection, not control. Giving people opportunities, not standing in their way.

Keltner says it best:

"Enduring power comes from staying focused on others' interests, expressing gratitude, and sharing stories that foster a sense of unity and purpose."

This book gave me a new lens on organizational behavior, influence, and power.

However tough it can be at times, I feel lucky to have held leadership roles over the years. Lucky, because: a) there's nothing like leadership to hold up a mirror and help you grow, and b) because few things are more fulfilling than watching teammates grow.

Have you witnessed a leader being lifted up — or torn down — because of their behavior?